Where I am now 

Apologies for the first ones being so long, I kind of needed to start somewhere and already I feel a little weight has come off! It’s a nice feeling to know that what you have been carrying is out there rather than sitting inside me or those I love.

Don’t get me wrong — I know they always encourage me to talk to them, but I hate that feeling off constantly talking at them and feeling selfish. I would hate to be that person, so this is how I’m helping myself.
I think this will be a mixture of little story tellings (not like the mammoth ones already!!) and reflections, and a lot of the time self help. If I can find comfort in something, I’ll write it on here in hopes that someone else can find it too.
At the moment my anxiety and depression are at a good level, low, but I know I need to think about what I’m doing. This morning I slept in, and on a normal day I would be a little annoyed at myself for this. Cursing myself that I’m lazy and I should have got more done. But today, I can feel it in me that I needed that sleep, that it has helped me and mended me. What helps is last night I didn’t have the fear that I would wake up bad, it hasn’t happened in a few weeks now.
So today I’m looking at positives – my housemate offered me a bacon sandwich, I have a few hours before work I can use to relax and sort myself out, even at work I know I will have a nice time, and this evening I will chill out and might even have a bath.
It’s a good day.


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