Sweep

Sweep me away

And fix all that I can’t

Too many cracks have formed

And I don’t have enough hands

Or enough strength

To hold myself together 

Sweep me away 

What else am I to do

Where else am I to turn

When the darkness creeps in

And I can’t find my way out 

I need your guidance 

To come safely home

Sweep me away

I would like to be stronger 

I would like to fight 

But in truth

I just dont know if I can win this war 

Without your help

Sweep me away

Coping

There’s a fine line between making yourself better, and pretending you’re making yourself better. And sometimes it’s easy to know when you’re faking it, and sometimes not so much. 

Right now it’s the former. Exercising and healthy eating is my cover up, a reason to look to the future and see positively. My old best friend once told me “you’ll never be happy with the way you look”, and she’s right. This fever will break soon enough, when I lose weight and still see the same me in the mirror, unchanged. 

But for now, if this gets me through the days without hurting myself, I’m all for pretending.